a letter to dad..

Dear dad,

I know this looks ridiculous to you and i can feel the surprised look on your face. This is the first ever letter that im writing to you and probably you must me wondering why it took me twenty plus years to write my first letter to you.. quite frankly i have been asking myself the same question for some days now.. why in the world did i never bother to write and never even bothered to reply to all those birthday cards and the letters you have sent me year in and year out for about twenty years as far as i can remember.. Im sorry that i had been a lousy son and i was lost somewhere deep in my head.. i hope you are in good health and you are fine , i heard about what happened back there and im sorry. I know you must be having plenty of things on your mind right about now and i dont want you to take the extra headache and ponder on my future. Its okay dad im grown up now, i can take care of myself.. Im still sorry for adding up to the pressure that you are already having. I confess i never saw it coming and i was blind. I assure you that ill clean my own mess and will under no circumstances put anybody else in trouble because of me. Dont you for one second doubt and wonder if you had brought me up right.. though you have been away my entire life so far, you have done every bit of your homework right and it was me all along who was ignorant.. why?? i still dont know.. Guess i have learnt life now and i have learnt it the hard way. Coming to think of it i believe it was destined to happen this way.. remember the saying you tell me when you speak to me over the phone " what goes around will always come around" .. i guess that is what this is dad.. what has gone around has come back at me and it was a bit more than what i could chew on.. I lost this fight but rest assured and i know that the war is still at large and ill come back. I know half the things i wrote doesn't make any sense to you, but this has been the way i had always been  and i dont spit the real thing straight... trust me im working on that too.. I haven't made any plans or anything but im sure it will fall back and i will find a way out.. Dont worry dad, i aint gone mad or anything and yeah this is the real me speaking.. ill make you proud dad .. one day..

love
sid