Monday, November 1, 2010
It has been a bumpy ride for me these four months. I got knocked around from here to there just like a football. I dint seem to be getting my homework done too and i was in no position to justify against the people who were pointing their fingers at me. In fact they had all the right reasons to be pointing a finger at me.I was under a huge expectations tag and all of a sudden i crashed down to sub zero just like that. Everywhere i went people got shocked hearing my situation which they had least expected it seems.. well ,literally i have seen that iced look on their faces when i tell them that i haven't been doing anything since college. At first i used to get weird and i used to wonder why the hell they are staring at me like that for.. but i guessed that i deserved that medicine anyway.. thats what you get when you had been trying to be too classy and too flashy in your past. Sometimes i regret all those things that i had done and achieved but nevertheless i had enjoyed every moment of it whatever it had been.. later i was downcast and dejected and i was swimming in circles going nowhere. I understand it was entirely my fault for such a situation but im human too and i can make mistakes as well. There wasn't a single moment that i had not wished for a helping hand to pull me out of the slump that i was in. But i couldn't complain much either nobody have time these days, everybody has their own private world to tend to.. But just as if the the great one had listened and heard me give a silent sob, he sent me inspiration from the most unlikely source "The Hawk". No wait i cant call him an unlikely source but bearing in mind to the position that he held and with someone with far more important and busy things happening around him.. i could have been missed.. I will never forget those words that he first spoke to me when i was depressed and when i was at the breaking point of all senses left in me..although i still go through the same old scam there is a huge difference now and its beyond words to explain..
I call him the hawk because i visualize him as one which flies so high but spotted me with his sharp eyes far down below, swooped down, grabbed me with his sharp claws and with a firm grip hauled me into the sky..In a way the hawk is my mentor for he helped me discover a new me in me.. gave me positive thoughts, opened my mind for a different view and perceive things at more than one angle. when he took me under his wing i had no clue where i was and where i was heading but then the element of trust held good.. but now just as if i had preplanned everything into perfection, things (even though they are small small stuffs) starts falling in their places and it feels like i had done nothing about it..Furthermore i ended up doing and learning things which i had no clue about and which i thought i wouldn't be doing in a million years. Though it is a big turn around and i have already started to wonder how i got here from what i had been.. i dint want to lose track of my situation so tot ill jot it now.. . Im happy the way things are going at the moment though there has not been a major impact for anybody to see what im talking about, But that aint my problem and i have zero interest in convincing people that i have bettered my old self. I know that i have and i BELIEVE.. that is all that matters to me at the moment.Im writing this too early for my liking too as i have nothing to show for my words as proof.. but i want to take a look back at every phase in my life and not miss even the smallest of stones that has paved it..