Equanimity

I have had a lot of people to thank in my life before . It has always been the people around me , the people i have met , the people i talk to , even the people who were just mere acquaintances, have made and filled me in with all these qualities that i have today. The lastest being the only remaining feather in my once full feather cap , that i sported all this while... only 1 remains. Not blaming anybody.. Once a rookie who tormented around like Lebron James , today has become silent , calm, composed and collected. The only thing that i have around me are books.. Books and even more books. They have really helped me in finding my way , answering a lot of my questions on the way and unveiling those answers, whose questions i prior did never know. I no longer live the Live Fast Die Young life style that i once believed in. Every day is different for me in its own way. I always find something new and i would say these 9 months that i had so far has been one of the best if not the best times of my life so far. I feel that i have done so many things which i had not even thought about before and most importantly i was happy all the time. When things got a bit congested i wrote it all down on a piece of paper and i must say that it has helped me a lot. when i look at them today i laugh to myself thinking how silly i had been. Friends , foes , good guys , bad guys , opportunists , you, me ,we.. we are all people at the end of the day and only human to make some mistakes but the point is where you can realize them , face them and correct them in the best possible way. Today im so proud that i have learnt where i went wrong and what i should have done before, im doing them today and making up to all that was lost and beyond.. Of course i will never get back the lost time but im not going to make it a lame excuse if i still could make a difference. Being an Indian and most importantly being a sanskrit student has helped me a lot in my ways and i have begun my journey to the Nirvana of Sivana. The slokas and the Gita that i read and put into practice everyday from those Sanksrit books that i have has really made me think deep into another dimension and i feel so extraordinary when i do that. I cannot believe that im doing this as i do not have a tutor and im practically doing this on my own and without any guidance except for the books which hold the divine truth to this world . It feels like it is all in me and i do not have to go anywhere else. The Early morning walk and the evening temple visits to VADAKKUNNATHAN temple where the world famous THRISSUR POORAM is held has made me to transcend my dreams. This metamorphisis in me has had a lot of personal losses too but im not bothered or sorry for any of it. For what has happened yesterday, what is happening today and what is yet to happen tomorrow, happens for a reason.