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Monday, December 13, 2010

wonderwall





Time is something which I have in abundance at the moment.. I don’t know if I have wasted it.. to me as it stands every second has been a one to cherish .. I have had my share of highs and lows , the good times and the bad times and I thank god for helping me to live through them, enjoying every moment. These days I spend hours in my room.. don’t get me wrong im not depressed nor am I shutting myself out from the world.. I have been doing lots of innovative things and one of the prime motivation for me has been my “wonderwall”.. I cant seem to find a better name for the wall in my room.. But take my words on this.. this wall is absolutely amazing.. I might sound a bit crazy jotting such things down but this wall has become my everything.. I see things that I wouldn’t even dream of  witnessing , I meet people from my past , I picture myself in different shoes and I see the world as a whole in the way that I want it to be.

Im rather finding this spree the most touching and the most enthralling moments of my life so far.. the hours that I spend inside my room .. learning perl, writing poems , analyzing music and of course my favourite staring at the wonder wall.. I had been on a quest actually .. I wanted to know what makes me happy in this whole world.. I tried thinking of people around me.. I tried things that I have done before which had brought a smile on my face .. I have  tried it all and then came to my final conclusion .. the thing that makes me happy is SOCCER .. I’m  in love with football.. I found that thinking about football makes me happy and calm.. it makes me so relaxed that even the most complex of situations that I be in .. I cope with them all really well.. I never hesitated , for the next minute I pulled out all the magazines and posters that I had in my collection of those gladiators of this beautiful game.. I cut them in a shape and pasted it on my wonder wall.. As for now almost one half of the wonderwall is filled with soccer greats.. I sit on my bed and I stare at each of their faces and I envisage each moment from the past the present and I dream about the future..

The reason for me writing this here in my blog is not to share my fair bit of madness, but the sole thing which this madness has helped me achieve.. If you have read through my blogs before I’m sure that I have been breeding on the side of negativity and sarcasm.. frustration and anger has been my daily virtue and there has not been a single day I have not been depressed about the things happening around me.. To be frank I believed they were all abnormal.. but now I guess “everything happens for a reason” .. Im more calm and collected now and I don’t seem to find any problem with whatsoever maybe happening around me.. I have learnt to accept , forgive and move on .. I have learnt life cannot be sought it is rather found and even with the all the bad things happening around the globe the world is still a beautiful place and yet there is plenty left to be explored , felt , cherished and passed on.. I understand the most difficult decisions and the most complex times that 60 of 100 of us would have to take is between the age of 18-24 and I am one among them who still is on the road to recovery.. for my friends who go through difficulties as me.. All I can tell you is.. Find your wonderwall and most importantly believe in yourself..  

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